Bus Dwelling Monkey Problems

Sorry if the title has offended you bus dwellers but as I am one of you I don’t feel too bad.

Public transport can be a godsend it’s cheap and convenient depending where you live. It also keeps alive the social aspect of commuting to and from work, there are however some real problems.

A little rant, not as big as the #Unbully, but almost as nessecarily.

Problem #1 The Whining Phone Call


Your sitting there after your own long day at work then from out of nowhere a screeching voice bellows “Oh my god I’ve had the worst day at work” or “you’ll never beleive what he did last night”. For the next 40 minutes of your journey you have to listen to somebody else’s one sided problems being recounted at full volume.

Tip: always have your headphones whether you have music or not at least they’ll serve as earplugs!

Problem #2 The Bad Music


It’s one thing to have to put up with bad music being piped into a lift or a hotel reception. 

When you are on the bus you shouldn’t have to put up with the latest Neo track or Justin Beiber offering being blasted from the poor quality speaker of a phone. 

If I wanted to listen to that shit I’d have it on in my own headphones.

Tip: Exchange haughty looks of derision with your fellow pissed off commuters in a fashion that lets the sick individual know you are not happy. Passive aggression at its best.

Problem #3 The Offences to the Senses


We all know that moment when somebody casually saunters past you in the shops and you get a whiff of stale cigarette smoke. 

Even worse is when you are on the bus and somebody who smells like a deep fried used gym sock plonks themselves down wind of you. 

Have some common courtesy for people’s nostrils and either spray something or just have a wash.

Tip: carry perfume or body spray at all times rather than waste it on the stinky offender liberally apply it to the sleeve of your top and firmly plant it against the nostrils. Ah freshness! 

Problem #4 The Grumpy Bus Driver


Okay so we don’t all love our jobs but grumpy bus drivers need to get a grip. 

From the miserable grunt when you pay your fair to the wreck less driving through the rest of your route. Then the icing on the cake when you thank the miserable driver for their assisting your travel and you are dismissed with barely a side wards glance. Knob!

Tip: say your welcome to your own thanks. This way you look like a bit of a cock but the driver knows it’s a comment on their poor attitude.

Problem #5 The Over Friendly Commuter


As I said in my opening statement public transport is a great way of keeping social interaction alive. This is relevant when it is welcome communication and for want of a better word sane communication.

I am a very tolerant individual, it takes a long time for me to get annoyed about anything and I’m very friendly and understanding. 

Uninvited social interaction is unacceptable when you are clearly closed off from unwanted contact.

For example you are reading a book intently, or you have your earphones in and eyes closed. In fact lets just say a lack of eye contact, or obvious avoidance of it suggests you do not wish to be spoken with. 

This is often disregarded from those people whose only human interaction takes place on buses with strangers. Their entire life stories ready to pour out into the ears of any willing listener. OMG!

Tip: Get off the bus! Even if its not your stop as this is the only way to stop them.

That’s all folks!

Lau xx

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2 thoughts on “Bus Dwelling Monkey Problems

    1. I didn’t even think about this post being able to travel.

      I suppose it must be the same accross the globe although there are most likely worse problems in remote places.

      Perhaps some people would even be able to comment on the problems like running out of road, or looking out the window at a death defying drop. Still a problem is a problem none-the-less.

      Thanks for reading Anisa,

      Liked by 1 person

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